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One more thing
Oct. 7th, 2009 12:16 pmI made a comment yesterday about gothy bi chicks and I don't want that to stay unexpanded lest I upset gothy bi chicks that actually _get it_.
Everyone has their own experiences, and people who are identifiably part of minorities that have traditionally been discriminated will usually have experiences in common that lead to some more or less shared viewpoints. A good example is the relatively low percentage of white people who think that racism continues to be an issue in America, vs the relatively high percentage of black people who do.
A white person who dismisses black people's perception of racism, it is fair to say, just doesn't get it. It's not about them and what they think. It's about the people who are affected by racism, who live with it, who are aware of it. And a white person who said "but my views are just as valid because I'm part black - my great grandmother was black" also don't get it, because it's not about genes, it's about experience.
This is not to say that white people can't pay attention and work to have more understanding but ultimately the right thing to do is shut up and listen and learn.
Same goes for men's perceptions of women's issue. Shut up and listen. No basis from which to dismiss.
Growing up as a gay person in this country, while it has changed (for some people) in ways it would have been hard to imagine in the 70's and 80's, provides another set of experiences. Dismissing what a gay person says about traditional gay discrimination, arguing that you have standing to do so because you're bi (and further checking in your profile shows only current and past relationships with the opposite sex) means you just don't get it, because if you did, you wouldn't be so dismissive. Not to say that bi people don't have their own experiences, but if you're living in the 'burbs with husband and some kids it's just not the same as growing up gay, or living as an out gay person.
Besides being dismissive, being bi does not give you the right to lob traditional calumny at gay men - YOU MUST BE A NAMBLA CHILD MOLESTER - with impunity. Because if you actually got it, you wouldn't. And saying you get it while clearly acting like you don't wins you nothing.
I know bi people who get it. I love them.
Everyone has their own experiences, and people who are identifiably part of minorities that have traditionally been discriminated will usually have experiences in common that lead to some more or less shared viewpoints. A good example is the relatively low percentage of white people who think that racism continues to be an issue in America, vs the relatively high percentage of black people who do.
A white person who dismisses black people's perception of racism, it is fair to say, just doesn't get it. It's not about them and what they think. It's about the people who are affected by racism, who live with it, who are aware of it. And a white person who said "but my views are just as valid because I'm part black - my great grandmother was black" also don't get it, because it's not about genes, it's about experience.
This is not to say that white people can't pay attention and work to have more understanding but ultimately the right thing to do is shut up and listen and learn.
Same goes for men's perceptions of women's issue. Shut up and listen. No basis from which to dismiss.
Growing up as a gay person in this country, while it has changed (for some people) in ways it would have been hard to imagine in the 70's and 80's, provides another set of experiences. Dismissing what a gay person says about traditional gay discrimination, arguing that you have standing to do so because you're bi (and further checking in your profile shows only current and past relationships with the opposite sex) means you just don't get it, because if you did, you wouldn't be so dismissive. Not to say that bi people don't have their own experiences, but if you're living in the 'burbs with husband and some kids it's just not the same as growing up gay, or living as an out gay person.
Besides being dismissive, being bi does not give you the right to lob traditional calumny at gay men - YOU MUST BE A NAMBLA CHILD MOLESTER - with impunity. Because if you actually got it, you wouldn't. And saying you get it while clearly acting like you don't wins you nothing.
I know bi people who get it. I love them.
