figuring out assumptive context

[gregography]

Mine and others'. Or is the word "worldview"? The model one has of how things work and how to work them.

First others'. Last year I put a profile up on bigmusclebears.com. In that space I've gotten some pleasant communications generally from guys around my age who also work out, supportive peptalky stuff, and from some pretty nice daddyboys but not creepy at all, not like my experiences on Daddyhunt (wAY weird) and silverdaddies. As I've posted more photos on bmb I've started getting direct mails about once a week from guys without profiles. Like this morning: "Great body. 50 5/8 black male. Would like to meet. "

They are all like this. Short with very little information and want to meet. I try to guess what would lead someone to think that this is an effective way to connect. Closeted? Intensely shy. In my experience email generally helps with those and allows people to open up more but that's not happening here. What I'm left with is the probability that they're just pretty dumb. And I don't like assuming that.

Mine: Ernie wasn't working during the period that things got bad for us and his being laid off is Invoking all sorts of weird feelings. Intellectually I know we will be fine but I keep getting moments that are almost panicy. Weird. I've learned that I can sit with these sorts of feelings and they dissipate but still it wasn't expected.

I just need to concentrate on all the yummy dinners he will prepare!

Comments

[faghatesgods.livejournal.com]

i plan to spend the next 5 years sipping sherry, eating bon bons, and watching Scrubs reruns between tricks.

[quirkstreet.livejournal.com]

Having been primary breadwinner chez nous for the last seven months, I get the panicky feelings, even without the stress you guys went through last time.

I wonder if there's some way to make the two part of your post dovetail. Like replying to these guys on BMB or elsewhere: "Sure, I'd love to meet. That'll be ten bucks." As long as we don't promise, or deliver, any sex, it's not prostitution, is it?

I mean, there's gotta be *some* way to make money off all these people who sit around on line all the time being excessively shy or closeted and spamming random hot guys with offers of lust. ;-)

[mondragon.livejournal.com]

You know, that moneymaking idea occurred to me but the Viagra overhead might eat up the profits.

[medicnj.livejournal.com]

Viagra from India, only about 2 bucks a pill.

called Sildenafil Nitrate

:-)

[guiser1.livejournal.com]

Significant change in work status is a significant life event. Be careful to not underplay it too much.

And I think people share so little information because A. they think it creates mystique, and B. they just wanna fuck. I don't need to know your middle name if all i want to do is chew on your middle...

[mondragon.livejournal.com]

I wanted to use Mental Model - I started out in AI and figuring out how to encode and traverse such a thing was a big topic of conversation - but I was hoping someone non-tech would tell me what psych people use. Apparently I don't know any of them. :)

[thornyc.livejournal.com]

You get TEN WORDS?!?!?!!! You lucky duck. On Recon, my average message is "Hello SIR". And often from "people" with no picture and little profile. How am I (or anyone) supposed to respond to that? I was tempted to respond to yet another one this morning with "Well, HELLO there!" Instead I just hit the delete key, as usual.

-----

And not just dinners -- this is the new austerity! Have Ernie pack you lunches for work every day, and put little notes inside....

[fj.livejournal.com]

I find that just answering Hey boy makes them never respond for some reason.

[fj.livejournal.com]

The sense of panic goes, then you just feel miserable and useless as the weeks go by.

No wait, you're the one with a job. These feelings are indeed unexpected then. I hope they go away soon, or lead you to find out something interesting.

[mikiedoggie.livejournal.com]

Going unexpectedly from a dual to single income is stressful. For both of you, I would imagine.

Regarding the random e-mails, I don't know why people act the way they do with these terse comments for meeting. I wouldn't assume they're dumb, maybe they just want to cut right to the chase...?

Then again, I never get e-mail solicitations for anything other than Amway so I'm not a good source! :)

ISO nippo-irish American midwestern lawyer

[tkn1114.livejournal.com]

I Asia. I love mall. I want come US. I want love you. You take me?... Please daddy-san, I clean. I cheap.... No, no, I no cheap. I easy. on sale. all the time for you. You call, ok? hehehe... I wait for only you. Signed, creeeepeee. But loveeeey!

A genuine question

[tkn1114.livejournal.com]

What do you expect from BMB? I don't mean it sarcastically. I'd like to hear what you want.

I was hanging out at BMB before I discovered LJ. I met a well-known writer who told me that if I wanted to chit chat and make friends, that was the wrong site to be in. I resented him initially, but I thought he was right afterwards.

I like it much better here.