figuring out assumptive context
Sep. 30th, 2008 09:09 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gregographyMine and others'. Or is the word "worldview"? The model one has of how things work and how to work them.
First others'. Last year I put a profile up on bigmusclebears.com. In that space I've gotten some pleasant communications generally from guys around my age who also work out, supportive peptalky stuff, and from some pretty nice daddyboys but not creepy at all, not like my experiences on Daddyhunt (wAY weird) and silverdaddies. As I've posted more photos on bmb I've started getting direct mails about once a week from guys without profiles. Like this morning: "Great body. 50 5/8 black male. Would like to meet. "
They are all like this. Short with very little information and want to meet. I try to guess what would lead someone to think that this is an effective way to connect. Closeted? Intensely shy. In my experience email generally helps with those and allows people to open up more but that's not happening here. What I'm left with is the probability that they're just pretty dumb. And I don't like assuming that.
Mine: Ernie wasn't working during the period that things got bad for us and his being laid off is Invoking all sorts of weird feelings. Intellectually I know we will be fine but I keep getting moments that are almost panicy. Weird. I've learned that I can sit with these sorts of feelings and they dissipate but still it wasn't expected.
I just need to concentrate on all the yummy dinners he will prepare!
First others'. Last year I put a profile up on bigmusclebears.com. In that space I've gotten some pleasant communications generally from guys around my age who also work out, supportive peptalky stuff, and from some pretty nice daddyboys but not creepy at all, not like my experiences on Daddyhunt (wAY weird) and silverdaddies. As I've posted more photos on bmb I've started getting direct mails about once a week from guys without profiles. Like this morning: "Great body. 50 5/8 black male. Would like to meet. "
They are all like this. Short with very little information and want to meet. I try to guess what would lead someone to think that this is an effective way to connect. Closeted? Intensely shy. In my experience email generally helps with those and allows people to open up more but that's not happening here. What I'm left with is the probability that they're just pretty dumb. And I don't like assuming that.
Mine: Ernie wasn't working during the period that things got bad for us and his being laid off is Invoking all sorts of weird feelings. Intellectually I know we will be fine but I keep getting moments that are almost panicy. Weird. I've learned that I can sit with these sorts of feelings and they dissipate but still it wasn't expected.
I just need to concentrate on all the yummy dinners he will prepare!
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A genuine question
Date: 2008-10-01 07:25 am (UTC)I was hanging out at BMB before I discovered LJ. I met a well-known writer who told me that if I wanted to chit chat and make friends, that was the wrong site to be in. I resented him initially, but I thought he was right afterwards.
I like it much better here.